Sl. No. 14 - Sermon - (My devotee knows nothing but me. His desire too can be nothing but me.)

Dhaka - East Bengal Brahmomandir
Sunday, 17th Shravan 1293 Bengali Calender [1887 A.D.]

It is written in the holy scriptures of the muslims that once Moses asked God, “Oh Lord, where does your devotee stay?” God said, ”My devotee stays in that hill over there.” Moses climbed up the hill to see that devotee. Having looked around various places, finally he found a lean and thin man. He asked the man, “Are you a devotee of the Lord?” He replied, “Yes”. Moses then said, “In case you have any desire, do please permit me to fulfil that”. That man said “I have no other desire but the Supreme Lord.” Soon after having said that he said, “No, I have two other desires. One is to see Moses the prophet. And the other is to drink cold water”. Moses said, “Your first desire stands fulfilled as I am Moses the prophet. Let me fulfil the second desire.” Saying this he went away in search of cold drinking water. As there was no fountain nearby it took sometime for him to return with water. In the meantime a wild animal came and killed the devotee. On his return and seeing the dead body of the devotee Moses wailed and said, “Oh Lord, is this the work of a friend like you? Is it the way you protect your lover?” Then the Lord revealed himself and told moses, “Oh Moses, beware, hold your tongue, what are you talking? Can my friend, my lover, desire anything other than me? I alone am the sole object of his desire and longing. This person can never be my devotee. Had he been my devotee then would he ever express his desire to see you or to drink cold water, or could he ever think about these? My devotee knows nothing but me. His desire too can be nothing but me.” Seeing this face of the Supreme Lord, Moses started trembling and said, “Oh Lord can I become your devotee?”

Hearing this story, we too may think whether we have been able to become devotees. Our lives do not seem to give evidence to this effect. Is it easy to become His devotee, His companion? We have not yet been able to love Him. Even now without being able to see Him, we while away time in merry making. On being troubled for just one single day, we see darkness looming all over. One who recognises Him as the giver of well being, the protector, can never be disappointed or worried. What is there to worry when my God, my Lord looks after my welfare? I do not understand pleasure or pain. Even in suffering I see my potential betterment. People say, “Why are you always talking about your Lord? Why don’t you leave Him inspite of undergoing so much of suffering?” Just once, if I can hold Him as my own then what is there to regret? I can bear with anything for Him. Even suffering becomes a pleasure. I am yet to achieve such a mental state. When I suffer, I seek means to remedy it, become eager to seek help from others. How is it that I find myself still unable to rely on Him? Even now I depend on people, other objects and samsar for support. Oh Lord! even now I am immersed in people, samsar and other objects without recognising You!.

I am yet to achieve that condition, I am not telling this to others but myself. I am saying with all simplicity, that I am not giving you any advice, I am advising myself. I refrain from advising anybody. You all kindly advise me. Even till today I have failed to call Him my Lord. I am in the grip of such a bad habit that during the case of an accident or sickness my sight fails to focus on Him. What is there to worry if I understand that He protects me all the time? Can I become His devotee, His servant? Even now I keep forgetting Him often. If an accident takes place during the period of my oblivion, I become bewildered. No fear exists as soon as I remember Him, I become free from worry. When He does not stay before me, the inherent vices of jealousy, anger keep torturing me. What can I advise others? I myself am a victim of this sorrowful state. This is the result of habit. I must bear the consequences of what I have done since my boyhood. I still lack faith and have attachment. As I try to worship the Lord, I am ridiculed by familiar attachments saying, “You are the same as before; How will you worship the Lord?” Actually as all these attachments brag, I become dull. Truly speaking what calibre do I have to worship Him. I have no strength. Nothing can be done by one’s own strength. People are but of no substance—when such a low state appears in the heart and teaches us how to rely on Him—just then He appears in the soul. Just then I see Him standing before me. Here He is (exclamation)! Oh Lord why do I forget you? Why do I fall into darkness? Oh Lord of the destitute, friend of the downtrodden! You save me thus. Then why do I worry?